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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27506467">Sleepless</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andauril/pseuds/Andauril'>Andauril</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Baldur's Gate, baldur's gate 3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, F/M, Mild Innuendo, light angst?, tadpole dreams</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-08 03:28:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,624</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27506467</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andauril/pseuds/Andauril</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Silaestra's tadpole dreams are full of painful memories. Astarion offers a diversion. No, not that kind of diversion.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Astarion (Baldur's Gate)/Original Female Character(s), Astarion/Female Charname (Baldur's Gate)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Sleepless</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Silaestra knew it was a dream once she opened her eyes. The grass underneath her was too soft; the scent of the flowers blooming around her too sweet; the air too gentle and warm on her cheeks, and the stars in the sky too bright. But at the same time, the vibrancy of it all felt real. More real than anything else. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As did </span>
  <em>
    <span>her </span>
  </em>
  <span>hands, resting lightly at her hips, running down the length of her thighs with a featherlight touch. Before she could stop it, the sigh rolled from her lips, and evoked a chuckle from </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was as beautiful as the day they first met. Her white hair fell in locks over her shoulders; in the moonlight, they almost looked silver, as did her eyes, twinkling like stars. Ethereal, almost. Her dark purple skin was a stark contrast against her own. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rationally, deep down, Silaestra knew that this wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. She’d watched with her own eyes, helplessly, as … But here she was, and the soft touch of her fingers, ever so slightly calloused from holding the sword, sent an all too familiar shiver down the length of her spine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t help but melt into the touch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A part of her called her a fool for giving on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She tensed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?”, the familiar voice whispered near her voice. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Her </span>
  </em>
  <span>features shifted with sorrow as she pulled back, looking down at her hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All of this was. Silaestra wanted to say it, but the words did not find their way past her lips. Instead, she found herself leaning in, pulling </span>
  <em>
    <span>her </span>
  </em>
  <span>closer once more. </span>
  <em>
    <span>She </span>
  </em>
  <span>smiled, and the kiss was sweeter than in her memory. A part of her knew this was wrong. It was all so very </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but that voice was but a whisper against the storm of emotions and desires and longing that pulled her towards </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I missed you so much”, </span>
  <em>
    <span>she </span>
  </em>
  <span>whispered. “I’ve waited so long to hold you again like this …” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Her </span>
  </em>
  <span>lips found hers again, trailing down her neck, before delving deeper … </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her breath caught, her heart raced. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wrong</span>
  </em>
  <span>, whispered a voice in her heart. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This is all wrong, you have to wake up</span>
  </em>
  <span>. But why did it feel so right then? Why did she want it, why did her body ache with pleasure underneath </span>
  <em>
    <span>her </span>
  </em>
  <span>touch? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re so beautiful, you know that, Sil?”, whispered </span>
  <em>
    <span>she</span>
  </em>
  <span>, between the soft kisses, the </span>
  <em>
    <span>hungry </span>
  </em>
  <span>touch, the … </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Silaestra jolted awake, heart racing in her chest. Her skin still seemed to burn where the apparition had touched her … A part of her ached to return to the dream, to </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Instead, she got to her feet. If she kept thinking about it … It was bad enough that she would drift off into sleep when she went to trance, that she would find herself in that place more and more often. She couldn’t let it control her waking thoughts as well. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Careful, as to not make any noise and wake up her sleeping companions, she crossed the campsite, slipping past the dozing dog towards the riverbank. The water was harsh and cold as she stepped inside the current. It was a welcome shock after such a heated dream. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She knelt down and splashed some water into her face. This was better. All was not well again, but better it was. She’d take it. Silaestra took a deep breath, and waded back to shore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone was still fast asleep. Shadowheart lay curled up in fetal position; Wyll was mumbling in his sleep, twisting and turning. Lae’zel slept with a hand on the greatsword that lay just at her side. She didn’t see Gale, but could hear light snoring coming from his tent. Astarion was … nowhere to be seen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not usual behaviour from him, that. He didn’t need rest as much as the rest of them. Here was hoping he at least kept watch as well while he was out hunting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Silaestra settled down on her bedroll, breathing in deeply, willing her mind to rest … She could feel every single rock and twig and uneven spot of ground where she sat. Some insect buzzed by her ear. Gale’s snoring was somehow more irritating tonight. She should’ve memorised “Silence”, it would make everyone’s night rest a little easier … Of course she had forgotten. They hadn’t had to deal with a great deal of spellcasters lately and … </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Restless tonight, are we?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With how painfully aware she was right now of everything that was going on in the camp, Silaestra was surprised she hadn’t noticed him earlier. Turning her head slightly, she could see him, reclined against the tree log, wearing his usual half bored half amused expression. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was no point in denying his observation. The dip in the river hadn’t done nearly as much as she’d hoped, that much was obvious now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I had dreams again.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Particularly enticing ones? It had to be a very stimulating dream, you still stink of river water, my dear. Was it your little drow vixen again?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She shouldn’t have described her dream in as much detail when it first had happened. Of course Astarion would … She paused. No. He was goading her … </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You had dreams as well.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course I had dreams, my dear. You already weaseled that one out me. What does it matter now? You clearly had the most riveting …”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Silaestra narrowed her eyes and sighed. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She half expected him to be evasive again. It wouldn’t be the first time. And if that was to be the case, she would leave it at that and not pry any further. But she wouldn’t let him goade her, especially not with </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>memory. He was not privy to that either. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I … yes. Yes. I dreamed of </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” The mask cracked, and for a moment, he seemed vulnerable. Lost. Pained. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You needn’t say anymore.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now, what do you say we let dreams be dreams tonight, and instead pass the time with something more enjoyable?” The mask slipped back into place, and his voice melted into a purr. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Silaestra raised an eyebrow. “Much as I appreciate the offer, I’m not in the mood for …” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who was talking about sex, darling? I have a bottle of red wine right here. You’d be surprised what manner of treasures these goblins had stashed away …” He smirked. “And if you happen to change your mind later …”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll see. But I won’t say no to the wine.” The goblins wouldn’t miss it. And it would’ve gone to waste in their hands anyway. Maybe what she needed right now to find rest was to get hopelessly, helplessly drunk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Astarion’s smirk widened. She could see his fangs glistening in the moonlight as he reached to pull out the bottle and uncorked it, and still glistened as he took a sip. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Better than that tiefling swill by miles.” He took another sip before handing over to her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was better. A rich red, with a subtle sweet note. It left a pleasant warmth in her stomach as she handed the bottle back to him. “I only hope I won’t wake up with hells of a hangover … Something tells me wizardry and alcohol might not make for the best combination.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh? I wouldn’t know.” He took another swig from the bottle. “But I’d love to find out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Trust me. You don’t.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, please, what’s the worst that could happen? A couple of sparks? If anything, that makes me more curious, darling.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could accidentally blow you up. Spell memorization is best done with a clear head. One misremembered word or gesture could be fatal.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And we wouldn’t want that, now, wouldn’t we? I might just keep the rest of the battle to myself, in that case.” As if to punctuate his words, he took another sip from the bottle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Silaestra held out a hand, pushing aside all her proper upbringing that would tell her to politely ask and wait. She was still too sober, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>her </span>
  </em>
  <span>face was there, just the edge of her consciousness, threatening to creep back in … She wanted to drown it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Astarion made absolutely no effort to hand her back the bottle. Instead, he smirked at her; a challenge. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The bottle, please?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That smirk just widened, and Silaestra, with a frown, reached for it. She had no time for games, not right now. Maybe if this had been any other night. But tonight, the past was too alive, and she could see things she didn’t want to think about as soon as she closed her eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nearly fell over him, and that smirk widened, the amusement now reflecting in his eyes. The bottle slipped into her fingers, and she was suddenly very aware that she was almost pressed flat against him, only a couple of inches and some layers of clothing separating their bodies. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My, I could almost think you have changed your mind already, darling.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a moment there, she was tempted. It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>easy </span>
  </em>
  <span>with him, uncomplicated. She enjoyed his company, perhaps a little too much, but at the end of day, he was a diversion. And a diversion was all she wanted, and all she was ready to be. It would be easy now as well. A few hours of fun. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But she couldn’t. For some reason, she pulled away and instead took a deep sip from the bottle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe because a fun diversion wasn’t what she needed. She didn’t even need to drink. What she needed … Silaestra took another sip from the bottle, trying to drown the thought with more alcohol. What she needed was selfish, and stupid, and she wasn’t sure if he could provide it. So the alcohol would have to do. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm a complete and utter simp for this idiot and his one braincell. I hope you enjoyed.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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